Phoenix Jules

Phoenix Jules was born two years ago today, after much anticipation since she was over two weeks late. I seriously thought she was never going to come out! Her labor and delivery were the most challenging for me, but thank God it was also the shortest. I seriously don't know why anyone would NOT get an epidural when they're in their right mind. Basically the nurses delivered her because she flew out, as is fitting for a baby named after a firebird ;) I think James said it was only 45 minutes after they broke my water, but it felt like eternity to me.

When they set her on my chest, all I could think was "She's HUGE." Haha. I suppose every non-medicated mother who gives birth must have the same thing flash through their mind. She was my biggest baby at 8 lbs  15 oz but oh my goodness she was stunning. I guess those extra two weeks were like her beauty rest :) Flawless skin, perfectly round head. Docs and nurses kept saying how she looked more like a two day old baby. We were already wrapped around her little finger as we savored her beauty on that morning of her birth.

I had always wanted to name one of our kids Phoenix. But after we had Dax, we pretty much thought we were done. After all, we were officially outnumbered already and I'd got to experience with Dax what it was like to have a single pregnancy after the twins. Of course, God's plan was different than ours and when Dax was a toddler, we got pregnant again. I was really upset because mentally I was done with being pregnant. Over the next few weeks though I finally adjusted to the idea and became excited. So you can imagine my confusion and frustration with God when I found out that the baby's heart wasn't beating when I went in for my first eight-week check-up. Why would God allow me to get pregnant if He was just going to take the baby away...? James and I prayed over the next few months and struggled with if we should try to have a fourth baby. We did have THREE already and knew that God had given us more than we could handle ;) But as Dax was getting older, we thought, better now than later, right? We had 'started over' with Dax since he was five years younger than the twins and we were hoping if we had another baby, at least it could be closer to Dax in age so he would have a little playmate too. Again, God's plan was a bit different. We got pregnant again, but with a flexible expectation, not knowing what God would do with this baby. He gave me incredible peace that I'd never had the opportunity for before. This baby made it to almost 15 weeks, but at my 16 week appointment, the kids and I looked at baby on the ultrasound, again with no heartbeat. Our kids were heartbroken. My doctor was angry. I was sad but not the same kind of sad as with our
first miscarriage. Still God carried me with this crazy peace. I'm not sure why we lost those two babies, there are probably multiple reasons. I got the opportunity to have lots of great conversations about God with my frustrated doctor, my confused children and my sweet husband. He grew us closer to Him and closer to each other.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. I Peter 5:10

We have many friends who have gone through countless miscarriages and I'm so thankful we only had to endure two. I'm also thankful that God grew our desire to have Phoenix through those miscarriages. She truly was a creation who rose from the ashes. 2010 was a sad year but about two years later, God blessed us with our sweet and spunky firebird.

She is fearless, affectionate and way too smart for her little britches. She keeps us all on our toes and brings immeasurable joy and laughter to our home. Her grandparents hold a special place in her heart, especially Grandma Margie who includes her in everything from gardening to flossing teeth.







She has a different relationship
 with each of her siblings, which I find really interesting. 
Dax is her wrestling buddy who loves to take all her punches and kicks. 
It wouldn't surprise me if they go skydiving together when they're older. Lol.








 Jade is her mini mommy. Phoenix usually won't even say her name, she's just 'mama' too. Jade is very protective of her and thinks she can do no harm. No matter how much evidence is mounted against her...hee hee. 

Cyrus is who she always wants to talk to, show things and have entertain her in the car. She knows how to get under his skin, and then she just flashes her toothy grin and his frustration melts away. :)  

All her siblings are incredibly good to her and I'm so proud of how they love on her. They know what she likes and doesn't like. They know to fetch her blankie when she gets hurts.

 They respond to her questions even though they don't know what she's saying. It's fun to watch them interact :) Last week she potty-trained like a superstar and I can't believe our little baby is two now! We had a nice little Frozen-themed family party on Sunday and today the kids and I took her to Zoomars, an overpriced fun little petting zoo in San Juan Capistrano. I think out of all her sought-after, expensive Frozen gifts, the $8 microphone from the grocery store won for favorite present. Lol. Figures.  

Happy birthday to our sweet, strong and sassy firebird...you are so loved and I'm pretty sure you know it. We can't imagine life without you and we are so thankful God put you in our family!

Tenacious

Tenacious: Holding or tending to hold persistently to something, such as a point of view. 
Holding together firmly...clinging to another object or surface...tending to retain...stubborn or persistent.

Tenacious was the word that I heard the most at my Grandma Doris' funeral last month when people were describing her. I didn't know my grandma as well as her friends and family that lived locally with her in South Dakota, but she reached out to me enough times in my own life that I know that adjective fits her perfectly. 

Before I completely surrendered my life to Christ, let's just say I didn't exactly appreciate her tenacity. Especially when it came to her pushing her 'Bible Belt' view of Christianity on me. (Going through high school and college I'd sort of picked what I wanted to believe out of the Bible and disregarded what I didn't like or what wasn't culturally acceptable.) When she heard that I wanted to go to college in San Francisco, she warned me about "moral corruption"  and "rampant sin" that the local culture in the city accepted. I rolled my eyes and shrugged off her words as old and outdated. What did she know?! She was a tiny little lady who ran a dairy farm with her husband and raised a bunch of kids; not exactly someone who'd seen the world like I was going to.  I appreciated her interest in my life (especially since she had so many grand-kids)-but was annoyed that she had such a close-mindedness and didn't think I could handle things myself. After I'd moved to the city, she'd somehow heard that I was pro-choice and sent me a slew of books about abortion and faith. I was shocked because I felt that she couldn't separate the fact that even though I could never have an abortion myself, I wouldn't want to take away that right from another woman. I skimmed through the books but was mostly angry that 1) she was looking into my life and personal opinions and 2) she acted like I didn't really know God. 

Flash forward a year or so. It only took a short amount of time to realize that my grandma in her godly wisdom was correct. About everything. I saw enough at school, in my workplace, at bars and parties, where I lived...in my short experience living there, I was blown away by what it truly looks like to live 'in the flesh'. Now I know that we ALL fall into sin, Christian or not-and I'm not saying that any other area of the world is any more righteous than another-but what was interesting to me was how comfortable people were giving in to their desires in the city. And it was applauded! Everything was about finding yourself and doing what feels good. Now I suppose everyone encounters that in life, especially in the college years. Which is probably why it's such a testing ground for faith. LOTS of scripture on what happens when we all do what we want, by the way: the books of Judges (especially chapters 17-21...which uh...kind of reads like a mafia movie script), the book of Romans (3:18-"There is no fear of God before their eyes.") and 2 Timothy chapters 3 and 4. Check them out for yourself. Especially those chapters in Timothy-they summarize the state of our world today in a nutshell. Let's just say it gets pretty bad when man tries to be in charge instead of God.

Anyway...after hanging out with many other people who were 'finding themselves'; aka being intimate with the same sex, getting really drunk and hooking up with whatever human was available, doing drugs to escape and relax (or all of the above)...I started to feel really sorry for people. They seemed so doomed for destruction. Insecure, without any foundation. Full of freedoms and rights,but lacking in zeal for life. 

(What's ironic is I didn't see that my life had these elements written all over it. Ha.) 

Back to Grandma. I honestly think my grandma's prayers for my lost soul were heard, and God slowly was beginning to open my eyes to all the sin that was/is in our broken world. It took me a while to see that I was broken, too, but thankfully God's not holding that against me ;) I'm sure my grandma wasn't the only one praying for me, by the way. But she was a steadfast prayer warrior for sure. Anyone who knew her could tell you that she spent a lot of time in prayer and that she put God first. When I was a kid visiting her, I hated having to wait to eat breakfast until after she'd done a morning devotional with us. But I'm so glad she did. All that time she was planting seeds, planting seeds, planting seeds. 

So all you followers of Christ out there-don't get tired of planting seeds!!! 

Sometimes I thought my grandma was a little crazy with all her Bible thumping, but now I realize that she was just crazy in love with Jesus, her Savior :) He was her Rock through many storms, her firm foundation and her guiding light. He was everything to her.

My grandma worked so hard. I barely remember her ever sitting down. But she always knew that rhubarb and vanilla ice cream were necessities in life, and she wasn't scared of the waves when she'd visit California :) Now that I think of it, I don't know if she was scared much of anything besides God!

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe,

 for our God is a consuming fire."

                                                          Hebrews 12:28-29 

A few of the things that I never want to forget about you Grandma Doris...

How much Grandpa loved to irritate you so he could get your attention :)

When I cried after breaking one of your dishes on accident, and you basically told me to suck it up and save my tears for something that deserved it...hee hee.

When you scolded Grandpa for scolding me after I scared all the chickens half to death because I wanted to collect their eggs.

How sweet and crisp those snap peas were in your garden.

All the countless times you flew halfway across the country to support my family in countless graduations.

How you encouraged me to finish getting my degree.

How you still showed so much love to my mom after my parents' divorce.

How you wrote down every single family member's name related to James after we got married, so you could pray for them every day.

I'm sure there are many more things Grandma, but I hope we can laugh and talk about them in person next time I see you. Till then...

                                         Much love,

                                                

                                               Katy (one of your many granddaughters)

Summer Lovin' Had Me a Blast...

I am beginning to have more and more respect for those of you who manage to frequently write in your blogs. It took me a good 15 minutes to 'find' my blog and successfully log in as myself...maybe that's a sign from the world wide web that I'm not ambitious enough for this sort of thing...?

Let's see...the last time I wrote was...six months ago...? So in a nutshell: we survived our first year of full time public school. I now understand even more why people with big-ish families homeschool. It's a completely different lifestyle. Or at least for us it was. There have been positives and negatives since our transition. Too much to talk about right now. For our family as a whole, things ran somewhat smoother... now I am just trying to figure out how to intentionally carve out time to be with each child individually. Phoenix pretty much gets all my attention at the moment since she's at that age of two-ish and 'two situations';  either injuring herself or someone else (sibling, cat, furniture, etc.). Here is a photo shoot we did in the bathroom (sorry, TMI), because she can't be left alone for more than five seconds outside the bathroom.

Normally one of my older minions would supervise her so I could have a two minute 'mommy retreat' as I like to call it, but my brave hubby has the older three on a mini camping trip tonight.

After a challenging transitional year for us, the kids and I are savoring these summer months. We made a list of things to do, ranging from a trip to Fiji to growing watermelons. Obviously some things are more likely to happen than others, but hey, we can dream ;). On my personal list are 1) finish The Chronicles of Narnia with the kids (two books left), 2) teach Dax how to tie his shoes finally, 3) figure out how to style Phoenix's curly locks (see photo to the left)) and 4) learn how to BBQ. I tossed around the idea of potty training Phoenix but that one's still up for debate. (Really, why do any of us leave diapers behind?-you can't beat the convenience.)

Two other optional/fun/more-likely-to-get-done-than-laundry goals are 1) to make memory box things for each of our kiddos and 2) write blog entries about each of them. They all have summer birthdays and surprisingly are growing rapidly fast on their high-carb, high-sugar diets of mac n cheese, pizza and ice cream. So hopefully before they're out of the house I'd like to record a little bit about each of them :). I know that kids go through many of the same phases but it never ceases to amaze me how different each of them is. Sometimes I wish there was one answer to how to raise kids the way God wants us to (basically so my job would be simpler). But I suppose if each kid was the same then I wouldn't learn too much as a parent ;). Plus it wouldn't be as exciting. I mean, it's pretty exhilarating when you find your toddler pulling butcher knives out of the dishwasher. And it really makes you wonder how the brain works when your pre-teen is adamant about wearing a winter coat to the park when it's 90* outside. Never a dull moment. Well. Except for when you've been blowing bubbles for twenty minutes and you'd kinda rather be doing ANYTHING else... ;)

 Three cheers for summer!